On living without history

Preface: Though this blog post touches on many sensitive topics, I am writing this to be an observation about life in Macedonia and not a valuative judgment on any person, ethnicity, political party, or organization. And now, more than ever, the following disclaimer should be recalled "The contents of this blog are mine personally and do not reflect any position of the US Government or the Peace Corps" 


"History is the version of past events that people have decided to agree upon"
--Napoleon Bonaparte

“History is a weapon ”
--Howard Zinn

"History is written by the victors"
--Unknown

A few year's ago, I read Howard Zinn's "A People's History of the United States", in which he provides a counter-narrative to the history that we were taught in school. This book (which I highly recommend) was careful to point out that it was merely ANOTHER history of the US, not THE history of the US. THE history of the US, in the sense that there is one absolute way that things happened, is impossible. Not to say that the past is subjective. We know that Bunker Hill was a battle fought, that Lewis & Clark explored the west, that Ford, Carnegie, and Rockefeller established empires, that we fought in WWII. The facts are there. They are objective. The history around these facts however, is subjective. In the US though, we have a standard history that we more or less agree upon. Revisionists continue to help shape this narrative (just look at how tarnished the reputations of Andrew Jackson and Christopher Columbus have become), but they're attempting to re-shape the history that people commonly agree upon. It is with this common understanding of the past of the US that we understand our place in the world of yesterday and today and project this past into our future. This sort of thing doesn't exist in Macedonia. The land of Macedonia was home to Alexander, Saints Cyril and Methodius, and Tsar Samuel, and though there are facts about these heroes, there is no history.

Certainly there is the history in Macedonia that children learn in schools and is talked about on TV, but the moment you start talking to people here, you realize that there is no single unifying narrative. Every person here has a different interpretation of what was. If history is written by the victors, what does it mean when you've had five different "victors"  in living memory who've taught different versions of history to different generations of currently Macedonian citizens? Was this person a hero or a villain? Were they Macedonians or Bulgarians? Were they freedom-fighters or terrorists? In Macedonia, it all depends on the age, hometown, ethnicity, and political affiliation of who you ask.

In America, we created our national narrative earlier with the freedom of geographical isolation of competing narratives and later with cultural, military, and economic hegemony. Macedonia has never had that luxury. In this global age, any narrative of the nation's history has to compete with a hundred other narratives from the neighboring countries. Any person reading the news reported by international news agencies is instantly bombarded with opinions regarding not only the current political affairs but about the historical legitimacy of an ethnically separate Macedonian people. Even within the country some people believe that there were historical "proto-Macedonians", others believe that the emergence of a Macedonian ethnicity is a evolutionary innovation, while yet others believe that the ethnicity was created by revolutionary leaders to give the country legitimacy in seeking self-rule. I take a neutral stance to all of this, but the people I talk to tend to be very fervent in their beliefs...and rightly so...it's their self-identification...their heritage.

Further complicating this question is its heavy ties to party politics. Just taking one stance or another is a political statement. It's difficult to talk to people about the past without one's statements appearing to support one faction or another within the country. It's a loaded conversation even from the start. Say something one way and you're supporting the ruling party. Say it another way and you're supporting the opposition. Say it a third and you're supporting Greek or Bulgarian interests. Say it a fourth and you're supporting Albanian separatism. With my still basic level of the Macedonian language, I've had countless conversations I've had to just drop for the sake of non-partisanship. When history is all political, how do you even talk about it?

Wilsonian self-determination applied to the Westphalian concept of the nation-state may have worked in cases where borders closely approximate ethnic lines, but are we tied to it? The Ohrid Framework was certainly an attempt to break the mold, but its success or failure is debatable. Can we honestly talk about creating a nationally-neutral, multi-ethnic democracy when the UK and Belgium are fracturing along ethnic lines? It's a question that's really worth asking.

I, myself having only lived here a relatively short period of time, certainly can't pretend to have the answers to all the questions that I've presented in this blog. I love living here in Macedonia, but it's certainly a challenge at times. It's so much easier living in a place with a common understanding of the past. It's difficult to learn from history to work for the future if everyone is working from a different understanding of what the past is. I'm not saying that having a common view of history here is possible, or even desirable, it's just a challenge that only Macedonia can decide how it is going to overcome. Is this country going to be a "Macedonia for Macedonians" or a a pan-ethnic state working for the future, I don't know. I do know, however, that living in this historical land without a common history is giving me a new perspective from which to view things in the US: a perspective of working for an America that isn't restricted by our common history but is based on collaborating for our common future.

6 Months In...

It's hard to believe it, but I left Seattle almost 6 months ago. When I signed my name on the line and accepted my posting to Macedonia, 27 months seemed like such an enormous block of time. The possibilities of what could happen in that time were just so vast and unpredictable that there was no point in imagining what all would happen. It's kind of like when I was a kid and thought about becoming an adult...I knew that it was supposed to happen but it was just so far away that I halfway didn't really expect to ever grow old. And here I am, an adult who just happens to already have finished 6 months of the 27 months I signed up for. The hard part is thinking about what I've accomplished...because it doesn't really feel like much.

There are 3 main goals of the Peace Corps 1. to provide assistance to those in interested countries, 2. to promote understanding of America to locals, and 3. to share understanding of the host country with Americans. When I signed up for the Peace Corps, I knew that I wasn't going to save the world. I knew that a lot of my "job" was going to be just talking with people and hanging around. I knew that my projects and work would be a struggle and I knew that I needed to have realistic expectations. No matter how much I know though about what to expect, when you sign 27 months of your life away you hope to have a bit of validation here and there that it's all worth it. And I still don't feel like I've accomplished much...but I at least feel like I'm on my way to that point.

My first couple of months with the Macedonian Croatian Society (Makedonsko Hrvatsko Druzhtvo or MHD), I felt like I was just spinning wheels. Within the last few weeks though, I feel like I'm actually doing something worthwhile. The first month with them, they just kept mentioning working on projects...which admittedly drove me a bit nuts because in my mind, projects are a means to an end and not an end of themselves. The second month, I finally got things narrowed down to a couple of core problems that I could help them with. The third month, I researched these ideas and found one that seemed like something I could work with: we would rehabilitate a park.

Across the street from my house, we have a large park called the Sport's Center that has a playground and a few different fields, pitches, and courts, all of which are in awful condition. This is one of the few green spaces in the city and is a place that both ethnicities frequent. With the schools, shops, and businesses largely self-segregated, there's not many places where both Albanians and Macedonians actually have space to interact. It could just be naivete, but the park seemed like a good place to focus my efforts. I wrote a letter of interest to the German Embassy in Skopje and they expressed interest in funding our project MHD just wanted a place to play Bocce Ball (evidently it's a huge sport in Croatia...who knew!), but I'm hoping to use this as an opportunity to share good practices for project development: stakeholder mapping, use analysis, grant-writing etc.

Evidently, we're not the only ones interested in rehabilitating the park either. A few local organizations held a community meeting about the park (Check out the Facebook Page here) and there was a report on the local news. There was lots of opinions voiced and a lot of people who seemed eager to work together. It was so great just to be in a room of civic-minded people!

The next day, some of the guys from MHD and I had a meeting with the Sport and Culture director at the Municipality and we got their support too (for anything that they didn't have to fund themselves). I have no idea how this will end up working out, but I'm excited to be meeting so many cool people and working with them on this project (and hopefully sharing competences along the way.

On top of this project, I've started planning a SAT/GRE/TOEFL/IELTS prep class for the local youth who are interested in studying abroad. (The TOEFL and IELTS are tests of fluency in English that are required for those wanting to study in the US or at English-Language universities programs abroad). I've had a lot of interest from people I've met here and I'm excited to be able to help them in this small way. I'm planning to hold this test-prep at the local American Corner, a library & resource room in cities around the country (and around the world) that are funded by the local American Embassies and support the spread of knowledge and interest in the US.

They've also asked me to help them out with planning a school competition that they're calling "Americana" that will have students competing in a Knowledge Bowl-esque Quiz on American history, geography, civics, literature, media etc. Seems like a pretty good way to work on goal 2 to me.

When I write things out it actually sounds like I'm getting a lot more done than it feels like in the moment. But I'm ok with that. After the crazy business of grad school, I'm finally getting used to spending time for myself. I've been working out a lot more, getting a LOT more reading in, catching up on show that I've been meaning to watch, studying Macedonian (while trying not to forget Albanian), eating healthier, and getting full nights of sleep. I'm getting into a schedule and realizing that I like it. I've even started making my bed every morning, something I haven't really done since I was 10 or so. It's not exactly what I expected to happen over here...but I feel like I'm accomplishing small personal victories which will hopefully better equip me for making larger victories elsewhere.

I have my frustrations here and there, but I'm generally pretty happy with my service so far. I've got something to work finally, I've got a great living situation (I have popcorn and a glass of wine just about every night), I'm beginning to make some friends with the locals, and I've a great juice cafe just a few blocks from my house where I'm able to write blog posts like this in smoke-free bliss. I hope all is well with you all too!

Pollution in Tetovo

Today I woke up, looked out my window, and for the first time in weeks was able to see the mountains less than a mile from my house. I walked outside and the air just felt clean. It's a spectacular feeling. It's like when you live in Seattle, and it's been months of nothing but dreary and finally the sun comes out and it's warm and everyone is walking around a little drunk on all the Vitamin D. That's what it feels like to me today. My lungs feel sooo good. This is the first day in ages where I don't feel like I'm being poisoned just by walking outside. Yeah...the pollution has been bad here.

How bad?

Pollution levels in Ulaanbataar

Pollution levels in Beijing

Bad enough that the pollution nanoparticle concentration in Tetovo was almost 4 times higher than the winter average in Ulaanbataar, Mongolia. Bad enough that it's 5 times worse than Beijing's worst pollution levels for January. This means that it's 70 times worse than the pollution in Seattle right now. It's worse here than the highest level ever recorded in Omak during a forest fire. 

PM10 refers to particulate matter that is smaller than 10 microns, or roughly 1/6th the diameter of a human hair. The World Health Organization recommends setting a legal daily average cap to PM10s at 50 nanograms per cubic meter per day. The US caps this at 150 nanograms per cubic meter per day. The Republic of Macedonia follow the WHO recommendations and sets a limit on the amount of days that a city can exceed that average of 50 ng/m3 at 35 days per year. Tetovo exceeded that daily average over 330 times last year. As I'm writing this, the air is at about 100 ng/m3...and I'm excited at how clean the air feels...when it's twice the legal limit. Joke as much as you want about Macedonia being Posh Corps...by the end of my service here my lungs will say something completely different. 

Here you can see out my office window to the local hospital, a distance of less than a city block. During the last week, I haven't even been able to see that from my office. That is how bad the smog has been here. 

The trick is that here, just as everywhere else, there is a high degree of politicization with just about any issue. As a Peace Corps Volunteer, I need to steer clear of local politics, so I am being deliberately careful about not casting blame on any particular political party. Both here and in Skopje, local NGOs have been organizing protests of citizens in hospital mouth masks and military gas masks. I've had to distance myself from the actions because it's hard to predict whether I'd be seen as protesting the pollution (which I can do) or criticizing the government (which I can't do). In any case, the air is nice and clean(er) outside so I'm going to go out and enjoy it while it lasts.

(I know that PM25 is the much more harmful size of particle and thus the more important to measure, but the local Air Quality sensors in Tetovo don't measure PM25, so I've had to make do with PM10) 

Addendum: A local newsource on the cause of the pollution

I cannot emphasize enough that I am attempting only to document the existence of pollution levels in Tetovo and the region. I am providing this link for further information about the possible cause of pollution, I do not endorse any political opinions presented in the article.